Old Country Road

"Take me home...to the place I belong..country road..."

I am listening to this John Denver lyrics LOT lately. It is my son's favorite song these days. He knows how to maneuver the U-Tube app on the iPad and find this song. So amazing given his disability. He has a big grin on his face as he is listening and watching the video. Even though I don't know what he is thinking, it makes me happy that he is so happy listening to the song. I've gotten accustomed to humming a long to the tunes and to tell you the truth I'm starting to really like the song. The lyrics are even getting to me a bit and even makes me a bit teary at times. I know, really puzzling and stupid right? As much as I like to "bury" my feelings and neatly assign them in a "box" for me to deal at a later time, it overflows these days lately and I can't seem to contain them like I used to be able to do.

I listened to a sermon a while back at church that was about paradise. Heaven. The afterlife. The everlasting belief in my faith that this world is only the beginning to a promised life that awaits me. A place where there is no more pain, no more tears, no more broken hearts, no more genetic syndrome, no more autism. A place that I would be able to speak to my son. A place where we would have the relationship that I always envisioned us to have. A place where my boy would be whole.

So if I had to take a wild guess why I get teary eyed with this John Denver song (by the way, I didn't even know who John Denver really was until my son!) it would be that I want to go to the place that I BELONG that I would be able to restt. Maybe that sounds really cheesy and goofy but this is the way my brain is working these days...the emotional cup overflowth.